Touché! of the Day:
...in case you missed any
Also, see
www.DatingAndHandGrenades.com for more daily humor!
-Ché Rippinger, Humorist
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Wednesday,
April 6, 2011: When things are going bad, they say it's "going to the dogs." Where are the cats, and they're responsibility in this? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, April 5, 2011: Ah, leave it to the church to denounce exercise. Yep, some churches think yoga is stealing their flock, as parishioners find spirituality through a more personal and energetic process. Bet church leaders are more a-hurtin' in the collection plates.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, April 4, 2011: A car smashed into a...wait for it...a Smash Burgers restaurant. Guess he read the sign too literally?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Birthday* Weekend (*4/3),
April 1-3, 2011: Moments beforehand, is a good time to create a birthday gift registry for fire toys,LED props, and insurance, right? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 31, 2011: A car smashed into a...wait for it...a Smash Burgers restaurant. Guess he read the sign too literally?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 30, 2011: Getting to know you. Getting to know all the strange things about you.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 29, 2011: Chocolate--friend or foe? Depends on one's motivations for indulging, and quantity of truckload consumed. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 28, 2011: Technology makes life so great. When it's working.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
March 25-27, 2011: Let them eat cake. As long as it's gluten-free, non-dairy, nut less and no fun.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 23, 2011: Rest in peace Elizabeth Taylor-celebrity poster child for multiple marriages (8) and serial monogamy.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
March 18-20, 2011: When was the last time you hugged your chair? That and dinner are the least you could do, in exchange of intimacy with your rear. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy St. Patrick's Day! Thursday, March 17, 2011: He who laughs last, probably needs a drink refill.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy Birthday to my Grandpa Rippinger-89 and doing great! Wednesday, March 16, 2011: The older you get, the more birthday candles you have to blow out...with less wind power. Unless you use the number candles, as my grandfather so easily suggested.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 15, 2011: Beware of the ides of March. Ides have a real mischievous streak. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 14, 2011: Oooo-activity and a to-do list. What could go wrong?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
March 11-13, 2011: It's the St. Pattie's Day party weekend. Drink green. Turn green.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 10, 2011: Good things come to those who wait. Does that include waiting rooms?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 9, 2011: It's colorectal cancer month. Bottoms up!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, March
4-6, 2011: Welcome to your weekend wallet choices: family movie night, or brokering a deal for the gas pump. Both require pre-approved financing. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 2, 2011: The ultimate measure of success, is your happiness. Or, the raging jealousy of others. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Tuesday,
February 22, 2011: A nun goes to the internet and opens a Facebook account to connect more people with God. This would be a great joke setup, if the nun wasn't kicked out of her cloister for social networking. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, February 21, 2011: It's official. The plural form of the car named Prius, is Prii. Now you can safely continue with any other important thoughts for the week.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
February 18-20, 2011: It's weekend warrior time. Better get stretching! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, February 17, 2011: Being sick at home is great-if you enjoy lawyer ads on television. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, February 16, 2011: It turns out, daytime television advertisers are much like late night infomercial sales-except in smaller time segments.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, February 15, 2011: Time to hit the gym, after the Valentine's super-sized box 'o chocolates.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy Valentine's Day!Monday, February 14, 2011: Monday. It's the first day that comes to mind when you think, "Romance!" -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Happy Superbowl!Weekend Edition,
February 4-6, 2011: One of the biggest indoor tail-gaiting weekends of the year-enjoy the beer, chips and coronaries! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, February 3, 2011: Beauty is in the eye of the mass media beholder. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, February 1, 2011: Wouldn't it be nice if our body parts went according to plan, instead of according to bills?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 31, 2011: When life gives you lemons, make margaritas. Just not in your cubicle/near your boss. Unless you're the boss. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 28-30, 2011: Nothing like a new day for a fresh start. Or nursing yesterday's pity-party hangover. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 27, 2011: Sometimes it's fun to release anger easily, and yet milk it for all the guilt it's worth. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 26, 2011: Who's afraid of the big bad commentary? Especially when it goes viral?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 21-23, 2011: Smile, your dental records are showing. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Tuesday,
January 11, 2011: Tuesdays are still filled with "beginning of the week potential." A fun time to overfill that to-do list with prioritized activity, and optimism you can somehow accomplish it all. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 10, 2011: Wow. Thank goodness for Viagra and a prenup. Congrats to Hugh Hefner, 84, and his 23-year-old new fiancé, Crystal Harris. Hats off to the man who started out as a cartoonist and then created the Playboy empire. (Hope he keeps that one little raincoat hat on though...those sperm may be fairy dust, or Rosemary's baby.)-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 7-9, 2011: Visit a white coat (dentist/doctor), then try triage for the green hemorrhaging of your wallet. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 5, 2011: If you're working out with infomercials late at night, maybe you're really working on a different New Year's goal: frugality. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy New Year! Monday, January 3, 2011: If you haven't already chucked your New Year's Resolution list out the window yet, congratulations-you're making progress! (And the window is probably frozen shut.)-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Happy New Year! Weekend Edition, January 1 & 2, 2011: January is National Hot Tea Month. Which may make February National Recovery From Crotch-Scald Month.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Merry Christmas to All- Everyone here, and our angels beyond Weekend Edition, December 24-26, 2010: My Grandma used to say, "First you laugh. Then you cry." Boy, Grandma could be a real buzz kill. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
December 3-5, 2010: Best line I heard from my fire spinning/safety meeting for the Denver Parade of Lights, "It's a family-friendly show. We don't want to scare the Normals." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, December 3, 2010: It's sometimes said, "Somewhere, a village is missing it's idiot." Ever wonder if there are cities, states and countries, too? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
October 15-17, 2010: Find your bliss. Sad if it's Blistex in a tube. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist ....psst...Wanna laugh some more? Thursday, October 14, 2010: Oh now here's your euphemism of the day: "cheating," is now, "permission-based infidelity." (If you're one of the slime who steps out of your marriage via a popular web site that supplies to that need.) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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 World
Hoop Day 10/10/10Join our Colorado group at Cheeseman Park in Denver 4-7pm Bring your hoops & sense of humor, or borrow one from others! Facebook Details _______________________________  Ché
is performing a hoop/belly dance piece at Mercury Cafe, Sat. Oct. 9,
2010, 9:30pm, Denver, Colorado.Facebook Details |
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Weekend Edition,
October 8-10, 2010:If you can't laugh at yourself, laugh at others. And tell them you're laughing "with" them.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 7, 2010: For a real spiritual experience, don't forget to play golf in a lightening storm. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Hey Dad-be aware in the skies and fly safe. Happy Birthday! Wednesday, October 6, 2010: Fuck art. Laugh instead. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 5, 2010: The good thing about drinking alone: no judgment calls. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, October 4, 2010: For some people, meditation is enlightening. For others, it's sleep.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, October
1-3, 2010: Ever have one of those "Leave it to Beaver" moments, and then decided against the Brazilian wax? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 30, 2010: We should all be proactive, rather than procrastinators. Shall we try that theory tomorrow? Wednesday, September 29, 2010: Catching the last rays of the Indian summer season in this hemisphere? Try a "wear your bikini to work day" and see how it boosts moral and productivity. Careful on that leather chair baking in the window sun. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 28, 2010: It's so much easier to write a book on anti-aging, when you're younger. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 27, 2010: Today's as good as it gets for a wedgy.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
September 24-26, 2010: It's officially fall-affectionately know as "Fall off the gutter season".-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Tuesday, September 7, 2010: Getting back to the work week after a holiday weekend can be challenging. Especially if you still have sand in your shorts. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
September 3-6, 2010: Enjoy the last rays of summer. After that, it's a fashion faux pas to wear your bathing suit as underwear. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 2, 2010: It's fun to pay bills. Especially when there's money in the account. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Tuesday,
August 24, 2010: Happy full moon. Now pull your pants up.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Tuesday,
August 10, 2010: Stalled out in life? Try watching late night t.v. Excellent variety for many infomercial/motivational/wallet-sucking ideas and solutions. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, August 9, 2010: Laughter is the heart of the soul. It's on the skelatal diagram, right beneath the funny bone. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
August 6-8, 2010: Have you laughed today? It's either that, or add more fiber.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, August 5, 2010: Any day is a good day when you're topside of the dirt. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, August 4, 2010: Did you know that jade is a good feng shui "money" plant? And yet it's a succulant.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, August 3, 2010: One of my organization teachers once said, "It always gets worse, before it gets better." At least I think that's what she said. I can't find the notes. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, August 2, 2010: Whistle while you work. Unless you're eating crackers.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Blessings & R.I.P. John Callahan-one of my favorite edgy cartoonists. |
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Weekend Edition,
July 30-August 1, 2010: Ever hit one of those snazzy gizmo gas pumps that ask you if you want a car wash? While you're standing in the rain? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 29, 2010: Will the corporate sponsors of the concert venues I frequent, PLEASE knock off the naming rights?! Banks and dental centers are not something I want to associate with my pleasurable activities. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, July 28, 2010: Fight or flight pile management: to organize or to go drink. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, July 27, 2010: Why don't they make ice cream in "money" flavor? Then you could have your cold hard cash, and eat it, too. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, July 26, 2010: Monday-a favorite day of the week to recycle last week's "to do" list. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, July 23-25, 2010: Wow. Death just takes the humor right out of you. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Holiday Weekend Edition,
May 28-31, 2010: Happy Memorial Day Weekend. Have fun with your backyard barbeques, tan lines, and obnoxious relatives drinking, if you're lucky!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, May 27, 2010: It sucks when hospice cancels your initial appointment. It's like being put on hold, when calling the suicide hotline.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, May 26, 2010: Ever hear about the one where the Grim Reaper walks into the D.M.V., and has to take a number? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 18, 2010: Life is fun. Until it's not.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, May 17, 2010: Whining about being in the office on a Monday? Try a street corner view with a cardboard sign.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
May 14-16, 2010: Getting older is like playing beer pong with your body: you have a 50/50 chance of making it. -Ché Rippinger, Humoris Tuesday, May 11, 2010: So what's the difference between a French and a Brazilian wax? A worse attitude???-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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| So sorry, relationship humor-seekers: I'm Caring for a sick mom these days instead of keeping up with websites. | ||||||
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Wednesday,
April 21, 2010: Honk if you like hump day. Wait, you shouldn't be steering with that.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Thursday,
April 15, 2010: Tax day cometh and money goeth.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, April 14, 2010: "If you love something, let it go" doesn't apply to tax refund checks.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, April 13, 2010: Don't you wish life was as exciting as the movie trailer? Especially if that one guy does the narrative voiceover?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, April 12, 2010: Mondays are full of surprises. Like explaining a weekend's worth of credit card charges.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, April
9-11, 2010: Life is full of known and unexpected surprises. Like overpaying taxes. And finding school chums on Facebook.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, April 8, 2010: It's nice to have a little peaceful quiet time. As long as you're still breathing.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, April 5, 2010: Don't you love it when you bring grocery carts back in so they don't hit other cars, only to find that someone has run a cart into your car? What...is there a temp filling in for Karma today?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
March 26-28, 2010: Spring is a great season...for romance and cleanup.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 25, 2010: Are you really making a personal fashion statement, or a career choice? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 24, 2010: Isn't it fun when your priorities shift? Like when mother nature throws down and your snow day is by candlelight? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 23, 2010: When your get up and go has got up and left, get off the couch and go after it.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 22, 2010: Waking up on the wrong side of bed sucks. Especially if it is a wall. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
March 19-21, 2010: Humor makes the world go around. Hecklers keep the gravitational rotation ring bouncy.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 18, 2010: My dog just had his anal glands excised. Don't you wish there was a station at your work like that, where you could send disagreeable colleagues, to improve their demeanor?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 17, 2010: Time to be green. Usually that just involves the after effects of a lot of drinking. Happy St. Patrick's Day! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 16, 2010: The Census is here! The Census is here! Money to count how much money needs to count. (And if you want to be a butthead-don't send it in, so we spend a bunch of extra tax dollars going door to door for your legally mandated answers.) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 15, 2010: Ever get excited about Monday, because it's more relaxing and predictable than your weekend? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
March 12-14, 2010: When you wish upon a star, you know it's a moving object...and by the time we see it, it's probably dead. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 11, 2010: If you meditate in bed, and fall asleep, no one bugs you for doing it wrong. Unless you snore. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday March 9, 2010: A kiss and tell is so passé. Now it's a sex and tell all, with technology to spread the graphic news in nanoseconds. Hooray for computers and our thirst for 'knowledge.' -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday March 8, 2010: Have you hugged your chiropractor today. Can you?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Wednesday, March 3, 2010: Happy Birthday Yahoo! You're 10 years old. Too bad I had to Google to find that out. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
February 26-28, 2010: Movie credits from "Night At the Museum Battle of the Smithsonian," had an entire "Stunt Neanderthal Team." Hmmm...any typecasting here? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday February 25, 2010: They just announced the legendary rock group The Eagles, are headlining an American Express concert tour. Cool. A follow up to their, "Hell Freezes Over 2" outing: aka the "We're Just Here To Collect A Paycheck Tour." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition
February 19-21, 2010: I just went to a workshop called a "playshop." That's a great way to get people to signup and go to future events...and actually look forward to learning. That and free alcohol.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, February 17, 2010: Shhh. Be verrrrrrry quiet. There are people nursing Mardi Gras hurricane hangovers all around you.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, February 16, 2010: Apparently, Southwest Airlines kicked director/writer/actor Kevin Smith off of a flight because he was too big for one seat. Ooooooh, you mess with "Silent Bob" and watch him speak! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, February 15, 2010: If you couldn't find something exciting to celebrate over the weekend (Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year, or the Olympics), how about President's Day, today? Now aren't you wishing you went card shopping earlier?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
February 12-14, 2010: It's a dog pile smorgasbord of celebratory choices: Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year, and Olympics. Just going to prove, every day is a good excuse to give a card, or do shots. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, February 11, 2010: There's a Star Trek cologne. Don't think that really means going boldly where no one's gone before. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, February 10, 2010: Quick, think of something wonderful to buy for Valentine-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, February 9, 2010: Tuesday: A "do-over" for those of us who didn't get it right on Monday. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, February 8, 2010: Don't you love it when you predict the game winning play of the game, moments before it actually happens? Isn't it fabulous when there's actual witnesses to back you up?! Congrats New Orleans on your Super Bowl Victory! Too bad I didn't have money on my game winning play call to the heavens. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
February 5-7, 2010: Music, munchies, and mayhem, tailgating, face painting, chest bumping and really expensive advertising. And that's just the pre-game festivities. Happy Super Bowl Weekend! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, February 4, 2010: Are you rearranging your life around the Super Bowl? Why not? Have you not been swept up with the media mayhem of what's supposed to be important to advertisers?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, February 2, 2010: Here's my made-up word of the day: Tweetdeath. It's when someone fills your screen with so much stuff you unfollow them. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 29-31, 2010: Now this just sounds like a "need-a-lawyer-kind-of-bad-decision-in a glass" Drink Name-Liquid Cocaine: 1 part(s) Goldschlager, 1 part(s) Jagermeister, 1 part(s) 151 Proof Rum Shake with ice. Pour into shooter glass. Shoot! (from www.barmeister.com) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 28, 2010: Really cold weather is the best time to go get ice cream. There's no line. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 27, 2010: The government just banned texting for the bus and trucking industry. Thank goodness for that "duh" factor.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, January 26, 2010: There's a People's Choice award for the Aspen cannabis festival. Now there's motivation besides munchies for a judge's application. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 25, 2010: Leave it to Colorado to have a cannabis festival. Surprise, surprise. It's in Aspen, not Boulder. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 22-24, 2010: Have you tried Laughter Yoga? It hits the body's happy trifecta: giggling, breathing, and exercise. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 21, 2010: Not a huggie-kind of person? That's o.k. No one wants your cooties anyway. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 20, 2010: Getting a little behind already in the new year? Join the overlist club. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, January 19, 2010: Try a new recipe today. For food, not disaster. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 18, 2010: Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go. Hopefully it isn't as a ho. Although, they do have some interesting business deductions. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 15-17, 2010: Isn't it great that locker room talk has made it to the board room? It's not a bored meeting anymore.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 14, 2010: Are you at the top of your game? Do you at least have a ticket to get into the stadium? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 13, 2010: "Ha" means inspiration in Hawaiian. Now you know that getting your daily does of humor is good for your creative mojo. So go forth and ha ha, a lot today.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, January 12, 2010: It is said that to eat an elephant, you must start with the first bite. So procrastinators and vegetarians are off the hook.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 11, 2010: Gotta love a good euphemism...debt, is called credit. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 8-10, 2010: There's a male band out there who happily sings, "I don't want to be in a faceless concubine." They do know that involves sex, right?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 7, 2010: Go figure. A guy named Ryan Dirteater is a pro bull rider. 8 seconds on the bull, and the rest...in the...well you read his Native American last name. This joke's too easy.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 6, 2010: Screw up your resolutions yet? How about now?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, January 5, 2010: We now have more medical marijuana dispensaries than Starbucks. Denver finally lives up in, all respects, to the famous "Mile High City" moniker.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 4, 2010: Congratulations! You've officially made it to the new year and new work week...and brought the old you. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 1-3, 2010: Just when you thought you could breath through the holidays, the media brings up tax season. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, December 31, 2009: Last chance to make fun of everyone necking near mistletoe. Then you have to give up being snarky for New Year's.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 30, 2009: Quick, laugh at you before someone else does. It kills their timing.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 29, 2009: It's crunch time to see what you can say you accomplished in 2009. Or you can say you lost your list.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 28, 2009: Santa has allegedly been spotted in the Caribbean. Some say taking a time-out on a boat named "Privacy" with Tiger Woods.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
December 26-28, 2009: It's Black Friday/Sales Weekend redux. Quick, find your holiday gift cards before they get lost in the gift wrap recycling!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Merry Christmas Everyone! ...May your holidays be filled with peace, joy & laughter! Thursday & Friday, December 24-25, 2009: Guess Homeland Security should tap into the North Pole headquarters. Because everyone knows that Santa's got the 411 hookup on all good and bad activity.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 23, 2009: Ho, ho, ho. Hey, watch what you call Santa's little helpers. One might be yo' mama.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 22, 2009: American Airlines has the slogan, "American Airlines knows why you fly." Uh, really? If true, you'd think they'd include your luggage, some food, drinks, plane fuel, and nicely paid people who help you enjoy flying again, and remind you to grab your seat cushion in the unlikely event of a nosedive.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 21, 2009: Still debating on that "perfect gift?" You can try the Saturday Night Live skit/gift recommendation: "d**k in a box." And get yourself a nice little lawyer, while you're up.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
December 18-20, 2009: Are you itching to see what Santa brought you for Christmas? They have a cream for that.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, December 17, 2009: Nothing like a little deadline pressure to test the limits of caffeine crazy.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 16, 2009: Give and you shall receive. Unless you caught the other person by surprise.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 15, 2009: Just because you like Santa, doesn't mean you have to look like him. Put down the cookie.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
December 11-13, 2009: It's so much easier to go "dashing through the snow" when you're slipping on ice.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, December 10, 2009: Getting up early is good practice for sadomasichism. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 9, 2009: Some one threaten the inner peace of your inner child? Two words will settle it: dodge ball. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 8, 2009: Are you wasting time on TweetDeck? Or just going down the tech rabbit hole, without a pick.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 7, 2009: To each his own. Unless you own it.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Thursday,
December 3, 2009: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Or at least like Santa's elves hit the malls on eggnog.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 2, 2009: Don't you love going to a class, just to learn all about how much you don't know?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 1, 2009: Rounding the bend of year's end. Either a holiday bon bon race to the finish, or trying to slow it down, while freaking out where the other 11 months went and how to cram in the rest of that activity in just 1.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, November 30, 2009: An insurance agent, a dentist and a lawyer go into a bar. Not really. But they're usually the first holiday cards you receive each year.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
November 27-29, 2009: Did you ever have one of those domino projects? You know, the kind that is seemingly one single task, but actually has several steps to get through first, before ever getting to the satisfaction of knocking that first one down?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, November 26, 2009: Your local tofurkey says thank you for killing your local vegetables instead of the feathered brethren. Happy T-day: May your blessings and humor to enjoy them be bountiful. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 25, 2009: Black Friday is coming up. Perhaps it's both shopping and stock market-related. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 24, 2009: Throw a telemarketer completely off of their phone script. Offer to by millions of dollars worth of their product, once your Nigerian check cashes.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, November 23, 2009: Time to hit the ground running. Here's hoping the hit didn't cause shin splints.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
November 20-22, 2009: 'Tis the weekend for New Moon fever. Come on-get bitten by the sexy monster hipster hype already.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, November 19, 2009: If you get the chance, definitely go see the Trans Siberian Orchestra this holiday season. Who is TSO, you ask? They're like Manheim Steamroller...on crack.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 18, 2009: Porn Star. Now there's a profession you can brag about with admiration from a nursing home.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 17, 2009: One never realizes the reality of their to-do list, until your halfway finished with stuff that's not even on it.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
November 13-15, 2009: Looks like another football-loving, desperate housewives-kind of weekend. With laundry.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 11, 2009: Burning the midnight oil? Yet another reason to go green.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 10, 2009: Who has tech boundary issues? Anyone? Anyone? Especially in a world where the computer is god, and sleep is a luxury.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, November 9, 2009: Yep, this was a real headline, "To sculpt your body, work out like a Greek." But does naked, really work in today's gym? Swine flu, flu flu, and pesky things growing on flapping parts? Lysol, please. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
November 6-8, 2009: No one said life would be easy. But really, someone should have lied and said it anyway.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, November 5, 2009: This daylight savings thing is a little odd to get the body clock used to. It's like someone shut the lights out after lunch.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 4, 2009: Snow and the Trans Siberian Orchestra Christmas show came really early this year. It's like I should just put up the Christmas tree and hibernate already!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 3, 2009: It's kind of a messed up cosmic joke how such gorgeous days can be ironically filled with all the stuff that needs to be done inside.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, November 2, 2009: It's almost laughable, when the phone company can't communicate well by phone. It's a double bonus when they have the option to mess things up, but not fix it. (Gee, thanks Qwest!)-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
October 30-November 1, 2009: Halloween and Daylight Savings rollback time change all in one weekend? You could probably forget to wear a costume because you ran out of time, and just show up naked.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 29, 2009: It's fun exercising a short white dog in deep snow. It's like playing tunnels versus aliens-without batteries. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, October 28, 2009: Ever get done with a project and have apparent amnesia from the crisis and chaos, as you just revel in the completion? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 27, 2009: An organizational teacher used to say, "It always gets worse before it gets better." Now I know it means for life and clutter.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, October 26, 2009: The upside of the H1N1 panic? Stressing the importance of sneezing and hand washing manners, which we should all be doing anyway. Also known as the "duh" factor.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
October 23-25, 2009: Looking for economical Halloween costume ideas? Try your own closet-especially borrowing from a profession or job you've recently worked in. Extra bonus if you make it a "slutty" or "sexy" version...i.e. "sexy human resource manager" or "slutty accountant."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
October 9-10, 2009: The Eskimo fairy came early this year...and snow-globed us.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 8, 2009: Ah, seasonal change from summer to fall. Yep, nice, expected, but of course, too soon. Then mother nature pulls a sight gag and adds snow. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, October 7, 2009: Having a web site mention is probably about as thrilling as those coupon books for silly stuff. But it's instant, out there for the world to see, and fits in the marketing budget.Happy Birthday Dad! Love Ya! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 6, 2009: Organization and clearing is such a fun process. Especially when you turn around and all the crap reappears.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, October 5, 2009: Some people have their ducks in a row. Some have them in the repair shop. Helpful for the next time they get shot down.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
October 2-4, 2009: Sometimes life slams your fingers in one door then offers a hand surgeon in another.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
September 25-27, 2009: First official weekend of fall. I think you're supposed to do a hay ride or clean your house, or something like that, to celebrate.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 24, 2009: They say sometimes you are just supposed to trust your angels. What if your angels are punking you?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 23, 2009: It's officially fall. Now it's considered a major fashion faux pas to wear your bathing suit as underwear. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 21, 2009: Welcome to Monday. And you thought your weekend to-do list was hilarious.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
September 18-20, 2009: Here's a word you want to try this weekend: "knitbombing." Yep, now those crafty knitters of the world are secretly adding deco to outdoor public works, much like graffiti artists. Beware buddy, grandma may be in the gang, now!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 17, 2009: Ever hear of "toe cleavage?" Apparently, flaunting your pretty tootsies is not just for the foot fetish crowd anymore. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 16, 2009: It's great when you surprise yourself. Especially if you're already wearing panty protection.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 15, 2009: You gotta love the pressure of a deadline. The battle between caffeine versus brain power is a seat-of-your-pants, game of wit and procrastination, not to be missed!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 15, 2009: Did you laugh your socks off yet today?? Did you even put socks on?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Wednesday,
September 9, 2009: Natural disaster is fun. Especially when it comes to the fine print in your insurance policy.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 8, 2009: A great example of "irony in America": parents pulling their kids out of school, to protest President Barack Obama's speech to kids, encouraging them...to stay in school.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday Holiday Bonus Edition, September 7, 2009: Ever notice that bills don't take a vacation? Not even a flippin' staycation. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Holiday Weekend Edition,
September 4-7, 2009: Feeling a little itchy at work? There's a topical holiday weekend you can apply, with relatively no side effects...unless you do something stupid. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 3, 2009: 9 times out of 10, to heal, we are told to "leave it alone," let it rest, or stop using it for a while. Just think how much faster we'd heal, if we actually followed directions?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 2, 2009: Homeland Security: Keeping your privacy breeched since before you were born.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 1, 2009: Boy, time flies, when you're packing boxes. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, August 31, 2009: Moving is a fun process of elimination. You save the oddest things, trash what someone else thinks is valuable, and decide what goes by what fits in the box/truck. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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| From @ToucheToon on Twitter: Closing our
bricks/mortar El Rancho Trading Post. After 8/31online only:
www.elranchotrading.com Mom's health + me pulling off 7 days/wk Weekend Edition, August 28-30, 2009: A quotation from my friend Jean Z. was too funny to pass up... "A year without Bodacious Babes, is a year without sunshine." (The notorious BBS party is this weekend-life crisis'--be damned--we're going to laugh and drink anyway!) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, August
21-23, 2009: 'Tis the season for grilling in scorching heat. Do you think all the great ideas have been started under the influence of alcohol? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, August 20, 2009: Ever get the feeling life didn't come equipped with GPS? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, August 19, 2009: Ever notice that "fine print" is only "fine" for one of the parties?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, August 18, 2009: How many ways can you go around an important deadline? Let me count the "To-Do" list ways...-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, August 17, 2009: I wonder if the person who answered the "How do you eat an elephant-one bite at a time," really tried their own advice? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
August 14-16, 2009: It's International Artist's Day. Nude body painting is considered artistic and celebratory, right?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, August 13, 2009: Lefties of the world unite...for an International Left Handers day of festivities, like throwing the ball like a girl and blowing stuff up.-Ché Rippinger, Humori |
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Wednesday, August 5,
2009: Pssssst is not a nice sound. Whether it comes out of a human, or a tire.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, August 4, 2009: It's good to dance. Naked at work, probably not so much. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, August 3, 2009: Needing to sleep after a fun weekend? That's what cubicles and laptops are for.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
July 31-August 2, 2009: Can you have too much fun? Probably, if you're giggling through church.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 30, 2009: Smile. It makes them want to check your medication.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, July 29, 2009: Have you played "hospital shuttle" yet? It's not quite as fun as it sounds. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
July 24-26, 2009: There's a new dance song about drinking "Patron" (tequila). That's followed on the radio by "Hotel Room" song. Sounds like trouble with a dance beat.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 23, 2009: How to make funny ha ha without illegal substance crutches in the midst of chaos? I say we go with a banana peel. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
July 17-19, 2009: Everything's funnier with a Guinness in your hand. Well, maybe not an arrest warrant. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 16, 2009: It's fun when things things reel out of control. It makes you appreciate your mortality. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, July 15, 2009: It turns out more and more folks can drink on the job. Isn't working from home great?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, July 14, 2009: Good thing we don't settle things like they sometimes do in the animal kingdom. Because 'to the death' is really messy in a boardroom setting. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, July 13, 2009: Expectations are a funny thing. Sometimes they rise up meet you, and sometimes the sign says, "road out ahead." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
July 10-12, 2009: Long sunny days, riding with the top down, trashy novels, pool time, skimpy clothes, outdoor fun, bugs and sunscreen. Either this is summer, or pictures in your cubicle.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 9, 2009: Buying local saves jobs. Perhaps yours.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, July 8, 2009: So much internet. So little sleep.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, July 7, 2009: The Butthole Surfers...kind of like The Beach Boys. But for a slightly different summer music crowd.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, July 6, 2009: It's never too late to make a change. Especially if it's court-ordered. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
July 3-5, 2009: I don't want to be the last one on the Facebook bandwagon to wish America a Happy Birthday. But as a good guest, aren't we supposed to bring a gift?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 2, 2009: It's got to be quite a job skill for health care professionals to make small talk, with their fingers up your nether regions. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, July 1, 2009: Isn't it funny how, every year, we all look up at the calendar in complete disbelief and still say, "I can't believe it's July/___ already!!"-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 30, 2009: It's good to greet the police nicely at the door. It's bad if you say hello with a weapon.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 29, 2009: Time flies. Especially when those pesky Monday's keep creeping into our calendars.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
June 26-28, 2009: It's not that celebrity deaths are more important than world news, it's just our version of "hands over the ears 'la, la, la' I don't want to hear any more bad stuff" reaction to all the other crud going on. RIP Ed McMahon, Farrah Faucett & Michael Jackson.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, June 25, 2009: A small child questioned why I was requesting that he be in our store shopping with his parents. "Because I charge $150 an hour for baby sitting," I answered.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, June 24, 2009: Ever have a race up a mountain top with a fellow drunk person? Yeah, me neither.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 23, 2009: You gotta love a piping hot mega cheese pizza. Well, maybe not the upper roof of the mouth scar tissue part. Monday, June 22, 2009: It would have been nice to make it out to the family wedding this weekend. I was looking forward to really bad truck stop road trip food.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Happy Father's Day! Weekend Edition, June 19-21 2009: Go ahead and plan a weekend of chic flicks. And let your honey know that he can retrieve his testicles from the freezer on Monday.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, June 18 2009: My aunt used to say, "Time flies when you're paying bills." I think today many folks would say, "Time flies when you're ducking creditors."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, June 17 2009: The road of life is filled with good intentions, broken dreams, and just enough foreign objects to give you a flat every once in a while.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 16 2009: Some days are like pinning Jello to the wall. Other's are just about blowing up the wall.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 15 2009: Ever have one of those days where it's not even that you're not in the ball park, but security has helped escort you out?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist
• CLOSING PARTY
THIS Friday, June 19th, 6-9 pm
Ink Lounge Gallery, 445 S
Saulsbury St., Lakewood, Colorado
For those of you who
couldn't make it to the show's opening night and
haven't had a chance to get by the lounge to see
the show, here is your opportunity to do so. If
you who are wanting to purchase, or have
purchased one of the art pieces, you can take it
with you that evening. All artists who hung
pieces in the show are also encouraged to swing
by for the closing and pick up your piece(s) at
the end of the night. If you can't make it, you
can also pick your work up on Saturday between
the hours of noon and 5 pm.
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Weekend Edition,
June 12-14 2009: Looking forward to the weekend? A nice break from the action. Or so action-packed that you're looking more forward to resting on Monday?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, June 11, 2009: When you're down, celebrate. You needed a good excuse anyway.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, June 10, 2009: The way to a man's heart is in his cell phone log.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 9, 2009: Someone sent me a resume for a job from the e-mail address "clueless@...." Hmmm. I'm thinking no.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 8, 2009: Isn't it nice when someone's got your back? And there's no knife involved.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, June
5-7, 2009: Life is short. Wear a prom dress or tux to work, just to shake things up. Snub out Casual Friday. ... Call it "Over-Formal Friday."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, June 4, 2009: Remember when Grandma said, "If it's important, they'll call back?" She'd be ticked knowing they can now track you into the bathroom with satellite GPS.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, June 3, 2009: There's a web site called Shop4Guys.com. I wonder if they're on sale?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 2, 2009: Where's Karma when you need her?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 1, 2009: A couple found a Jesus figure in a Cheetos cheese puff. Apparently times have changed for the religious icon, as the answer to the question, "What would 'Cheesus' do?" is now...sell him on eBay. re.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
May 29-31, 2009: There may be "a lid for every pot." If that's the case, there's a few vases out there.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, May 28, 2009: I think my newspaper delivery person is out to smack the early bird getting a worm. Or polishing their Indy car racing skills.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, May 27, 2009: The wee hours would be a wee better if there was a little less time weeing.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 26, 2009: After a holiday weekend, Tuesday feels like Monday. But with less time to get more done.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Holiday Double Weekend
Edition,
May 22-25, 2009: Ah, if only we could put grill marks on everything in life. Please take a moment this weekend to appreciate the veterans and their families that we get the chance to read, laugh and enjoy what we like.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, May 21, 2009: Ever have those days where, if you take the fingers out of your ears, your brain will fall out?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, May 20, 2009: Confusedsious Say: One should only burn candle at both ends...when enough wax in the middle.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 19, 2009: Welcome to the wild world of social networks-where Miss Manners would need a high tech hankie.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, May 18, 2009: There's a new study out that says people who sleep more have better weight loss. Come on, hands up: who wants to believe this theory?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, May
15-17, 2009: Remember when weekends were for resting, instead of catching up on life's little crisis list?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, May 14, 2009: Ah, deadlines. The ultimate adrenaline-pumping, hyperactive, fire under the butt, motivator.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, May 13, 2009: Projects are kind of like cock roaches...there's always more than meets the eye. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 12, 2009: Just curious...who went out into the garden first, picked up a cucumber and thought, "Gee, this would make a nice sex toy."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, May 11, 2009: Laugh while you can. Tomorrow you could be dead.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, May
8-10, 2009: Happy Happy Mother's Day!! To all the moms, women and men in supportive rolls of mothers, replacements, helping hands and rest of the assistance village. I got my mom the best Mother's Day gift ever. Funny thing is that I learned the, "take the big project off of mom's To-Do list by going to Home Depot and get it done" trick...from Dad. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, May 7, 2009: Cyberspace. Perhaps it that's the final, or at least weirdest...frontier.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, May 6, 2009: Shopping for Mother's Day? Victoria's Secret may still be "in," but Home Depot is gladly taking more biz these days.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 5, 2009: Happy Cinco de Mayo. May the tequila be with you.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, May 4, 2009: Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Or at least creates a media panic.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
April 24-26, 2009: Earth Day. Take Your Kid (Daughter) to Work Day. Arbor Day. That's like the 'raising things right' holiday trifecta.(Wednesday, Thursday & Friday, respectfully)-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, April 23, 2009: Lost in YouTube? HDTV? Converter boxes? Twitter? You could read a book. If only it had special fx. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, April 22, 2009: Happy Earth Day! Like we needed to pick just one out of 365 to care enough to do something about! We've got to thank Mother Nature for being such a good sport and letting us stay on the planet to make her laugh.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, April 21, 2009: Life is funny. Not that you meant it to be that way.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, April 20, 2009: Back in your office? Or playing hooky while drunkenly celebrating April as national kite flying month?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
April 17-19, 2009: Ah, "Rocky Mountain High" might just have the meaning of listening to the weather report. 70 degrees one day, three feet of snow the next. Mother nature is a very entertaining comedian here.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, April 15, 2009: And now a reading from our lady of 1040 Schedule C forms: what the government taketh because we took smaller deductions, it giveth back, alas a portion of, with no interest. Amen.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, April 14, 2009: It's so nice that Barrack Obama is following me on Twitter. Better than the Homeland Security part of the White House.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, April 13, 2009: April is National Humor Month. Seriously, it is.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Happy Easter!Weekend Edition,
April 10-12, 2009: My computer is a little spicy. When "gelato" came up as a wrong spelling, it suggested using "fellatio" instead.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, April 7, 2009: To do lists are only good for one thing: exponential expansion.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, April 6, 2009: Did you have a nice weekend on Craigslist? Anything you can explain around the water cooler?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
April 3-5, 2009: Oh sure, age is just a state of mind-until you get old. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, April 2, 2009: Regifting is sooooo eco-chic. Especially if you're 'hand-me-downs' are from a high tech gadget geek!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, April 1, 2009: If you're going to tell a guy you're pregnant as an April Fools joke, make sure he doesn't have a successful vasectomy first. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 31, 2009: March going out like a lion? It's good to go out with PETA watching your back. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 30, 2009: I have a whole birthday list of cool things to get or do for my birthday week. Must be earning my age. In addition to some froufrou drinks, getting my taxes magically filed is on my roster.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
March 27-29, 2009: The nice thing about a snow day is getting caught up with your computer work. Until the connection and power go out, from the bad weather.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 26, 2009: The good news? At least you can't get a hairball from 'tweeting.'-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 25, 2009: Google isn't exactly fact-checking, but it sure does settle bets for drinks.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 24, 2009: If we could figure out some good jellyfish recipes, there could be an upside to this whole global warming thing.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 23, 2009: I wonder if in yoga, "cat" pose, for cats, is called "human" pose.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
March 20-22, 2009: The radio ad said, "Jägermeister, 35% alcohol by volume...drink responsibly." Hmmm...I've never seen anyone sip "Jäger" responsibly. Not exactly a savory-type beverage. Unless you enjoy your shooters with kick your a** cough syrup. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 19, 2009: The drug companies really want to empty our pocketbooks into their bank accounts. There's a new term, "add-on therapy." So now you can take theirs and buy ours!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 18, 2009: Sometimes "organization" is just straightening out the piles.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy St. Patrick's Day! Tuesday, March 17, 2009: Ay! Keep it green! Recycle those green Mardi Gras beads for St. Pattie's. See how much sense that makes on another drinking holiday?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 16, 2009: Get some sleep. Of course, if you drink on the job tomorrow to celebrate the green holiday, you may have many more days off, to take a nap.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Double Whammy Weekend
Edition,
March 13-15, 2009: Happy Friday the 13th. Remember not to go in any dark rooms, alone, or to camp to have sex. Definite serial killer magnets. March 14-Pi Day. Yep. Suggestion for the not-so-obvious: celebrate with ice cream cake.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 12, 2009: Woohoo! An Applied Cognitive Psychology study said that doodling helps memory. That gets some of us off the hook of tuned-out and inattentive.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 11, 2009: To distract and decelerate the bad boys and girls at an Australian mall, security tried to mellow them with Manilow. Apparently the Barry tunes are working and ceasing or moving the destructive behaviors.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 10, 2009: A pocket full of sunshine would be a great thing to have. Except for the UV rays and the ball of gaseous fire part.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 9, 2009: Relationships are/Life is like a box of chocolates. A little antioxidant power and happy brain chemistry. Followed by a sugar crash.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, March
6-8, 2009: Groupie shopping. Liquor endurance. Multi-city gigs. Triathlons for rock stars. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 5, 2009: Just when you thought you could breath through the holidays, the media brings up tax season. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 4, 2009: Wow. Some of us got sucked into watching The Bachelor season finale. There's an hour we'll never get back. Plus discussion time. With people who care.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 3, 2009: I don't want to buy the world a Coke, but a pair of suspenders might be a useful investment.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 2, 2009: Do you have a mythical creature in your office? A snipe? A unicorn? A secure job?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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 Weekend Edition, February 27-March 1, 2009: Remember when a fedora was the epitome of fashion? Welcome to trucker hats, visible boxers and waistlines that hang below the butt cheeks.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, February 26, 2009: Are you whining because you lost your pension? The previous generation didn't have a pension. And they lived uphill, both ways, in snow.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, February 25, 2009: There's an ancient philosophy that insists we shouldn't follow other's philosophies.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Mardi Gras-Fat Tuesday, February 24, 2009: Happy Mardi Gras. Thanks to global warming, a Hurricane doesn't just have to be a mind-blowing drink.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
February 20-22, 2009: "Gee, Marge, where'd you get your anal prosthetic replacement done?" That outta liven up future nursing home conversations. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, February 19, 2009: I kissed a Mac, and I liked it. Hope my PC don't mind it. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, February 18, 2009: Every once in a while, you realize all of your dreams have come true. Then the alarm clock goes off.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, February 17, 2009: "Disney on Ice." Shouldn't this be the name of a drink?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, February 16, 2009:  Hey kids! There's a Playmobile Security Checkpoint play set.* Complete with baggage you can't open and security screeners. Product downfall: you can't remove the shoes for inspection. *Bomb squad play set not included.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Happy Valentine's
Weekend! |
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Wednesday, February 4, 2009:
Valentine's Day on the horizon. Shouldn't we be running from a fat flying cherub with weapons?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy Day After Groundhog Day Tuesday, February 3, 2009: Awww...the groundhog saw his shadow and we have 6 more weeks of winter. That little guy must have quite a stash in his liquor cabinet.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy Groundhog Day! Monday, February 2, 2009: Favorite Super Bowl ad tally time...which was your favorite? If you're reading this at work, you may want to revisit the monster job search one again.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 30-Feb. 1, 2009: PETA's banned "Veggie Love" Super Bowl ad gives a whole new dimension to eating your vegetables.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 29, 2009: The decision to spend a record 3 million dollars on one 30 second spot in the Super Bowl during a recession. Or go the PETA route and get one banned for sexual content, so the media plays it up as controversy, instead. Brilliant budgeting at it's best!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 28, 2009: How's your Chinese New Year going so far? Year of the Ox, symbol of prosperity. Find any coins behind the sofa cushions yet?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, January 27, 2009: Don't you love the library? It's like Wikipedia for hands-on readers.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy Chinese New Year! Year of the Ox/Bull which symbolizes prosperity! Who couldn't use that right about now?! Monday, January 26, 2009: When the going gets rough, the tough get industrial-grade caffeine.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 23-25, 2009: So, if your cell phone is converted to a sex toy*, proper etiquette would be to let your calls roll over to voice mail, right?!(*see yesterday's humor)-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 22, 2009: Wow, your cell phone can be converted into a sex toy. That'd be the ultimate use of your free night and weekend minutes, wouldn't you agree?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 21, 2009: Wahoo! Change has come. Free at last! Free at last! But you still have to pay your credit card bill.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, January 20, 2009: The White House got to try out it's new, taller, extremely high tech security vehicle today for the Presidential Inauguration. The ultimate government version of 'pimp my ride."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 19, 2009: Happy bank and government holiday. Bet you're working, too.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 16-18, 2009: Playboy actually has a satellite radio channel. Do you think they just read the articles?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 15, 2009: Who knew that being a human pretzel only takes a couple of thousand yoga classes?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 14, 2009: If at first you don't succeed, try whining 'til you get a bailout. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, January 13, 2009: This year it's so much easier for folks to write "09" on everything. Trying to have selective amnesia to make "08" disappear. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 12, 2009: The porn industry is asking for a government bailout. This is just too funny for a Monday. I see script plots. Oh, wait. Those movies aren't built on plots.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, January
9-11, 2009: Oh sure, it's all just fun and games. And then some bright bulb actually KEEPS a resolution!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 8, 2009: Things that make you go, "what the...???": Would you rather have a sun roof or a moon roof? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 5, 2009: OK, you know times are tough when an entire country puts itself up for sale. Latvians got a signed petition to get Roman Abromovich to purchase their beloved Latvia for a mere 10.7 billion dollars. They even threw in a parking space for his new yacht. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, January
2-4, 2009: I'm out to save the world. One laugh at a time.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy New Year!!! Thursday, January 1, 2009: 'May old acquaintance be forgot'...most people want a little memory lapse for a lot of 2008.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Wednesday,
December 31, 2008: Last day of the year to accomplish this year's resolutions...And go! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 30, 2008: Here's a handy Martha Stewart style tip: Don't throw out the dried out Christmas tree just yet. You can use it for bottle rocket fuel for New Year's Eve!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 29, 2008: Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas? How about some love, attention and a good tantrum? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
December 26-28, 2008: Recovering from that christmahanuquanzicka celebration? Sugarplums, rum balls, fruitcakes, dreidels, relatives, carols, and lots 'o dishes. Sure beats a silent night for entertainment value. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Merry Christmas! Thursday, December 25, 2008: Hope Santa brings you humor. He really should clean up after his own reindeer, though.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 24, 2008: Ah, time for a little ho, ho, ho for the holidays. Just don't say that around grandma or she'll smack you upside the head.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 23, 2008: Holy stocking stuffers, Rudolph, it's 2 only days 'til Christmas. Better wipe off the hard drive of all that naughty stuff, before Santa finds out.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 22, 2008: An ad with pictures of semi-automatic handguns reads, "What are YOU getting Dad for Christmas?" Depends...is that before or after the Jack Daniels and in-law's visit?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
December 19-21, 2008: Alleluia. Elvis has a new Christmas album out. I think it's called "Dead Duets."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, December 18, 2008: Wow, for a fee, you can name a star after someone. Is someone checking to see if anyone else in the universe called dibs?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 17, 2008: 'Tis the season for hugs, kisses, colds and communicable diseases. You might wanna Lysol that mistletoe.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 16, 2008: What could possibly be the best gift for my dad who has everything? How about a gift that doesn't make him go into anaphylactic shock from being anywhere near my cat?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 15, 2008: Oh sure, it's all just fa-la-la-la-la until someone gets eggnog in the eye.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
December 12-14, 2008: What's with the Cialis drug commercial couples, sitting in separate bath tubs holding hands? If the drug worked, shouldn't they be together in the same tub?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, December 11, 2008: Of course you can't kick the dog. But the dog has no problem kicking the cat. And vice versa.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 10, 2008: 'Tis definitely the season. You could pretty much put a bow or mistletoe on anything.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 9, 2008: Got Snow? Got Nog? Got Humor?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 8, 2008: Trick Monday question...which is more optimistic? Getting through the work week to get to the holiday weekend. -Or- Surviving a holiday-filled weekend.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition December 5-7, 2008:
It's so cute when the cat eats the holiday tinsel. It makes for very festive rear decorations.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, December 4, 2008: Ah, the perfect little "gift card" gift. It's like cash, with a slight amount more of plastic thought.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 3, 2008: The holidays are an excellent time to see what your health insurance actually covers, firsthand.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 2, 2008: LED lights are the way to go this year if you're decorating. Because you want to be asking, "What would baby Jesus do to save the planet?"-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 1, 2008: 'Tis the season to over-cram the schedule, over-commit, over-eat and stress out. Or, you can phone it in. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
November 28-30, 2008: Texting, shopping, over-indulging...Oh, My! The true spirit of the holidays.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy Thanksgiving! Thursday, November 27, 2008: We should all have vampires over for Thanksgiving. That way if anyone gets out of hand...-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 26, 2008: 'Tis the season for a little holiday mood music. Like "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 25, 2008: Might as well work out a little extra now to prepare for over-eating on T-day. A few wrist circles should prevent any fork or remote control lifting injuries.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, November 24, 2008: Ah, welcome to a shorter work week. You can almost smell the holiday cooking disaster now.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
November 21-23, 2008: What do you get for a 4 week anniversary? Rock, paper, scissors? Memory enhancer?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, November 20, 2008: I liked my grandma's theory on cleaning...if you make your bed, 1/2 the room is already tidied up.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 19, 2008: Ever use those 3-D glasses for other things...like at work?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 18, 2008: You think god created Tuesdays, as a 'do-over' for Mondays?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, November 17, 2008: Caffeine...the magical lubricant that gets the brain working, in consecutive order.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
November 14-16, 2008: Sure alcohol makes you a better dancer. Until you see the video.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist New 4 page article on El Rancho-Check out the online article (less photos) or come in to see the full layout!
The NEW "Dating And Hand Grenades" monthly feature articles are here! - Humor, heart, and an entertaining way to laugh at the reality of our relationships.
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Weekend Edition,
November 7-9, 2008: Wouldn't it be great if we all knew more languages? Because "foot-in-mouth" is so much sexier with an accent.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, November 6, 2008: Many humans can relate to autumn's seasonal change. Especially the leaves falling, crunching...and overall dormancy part.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist
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Weekend Edition,
October 31-November 2, 2008: Market spinning the costumes this Halloween? Check out the new "Rebel Toons." They're basically sexed up cartoon characters. Previously these were called "Naughty (fill in the profession)." So move over Naughty Nurse. Rebel Disney Princesses have shorter skirts and they're egging for a cat fight.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 30, 2008: Some see the glass half full. Some see the glass half empty. Some see their shot glass needs a refill. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 28, 2008: Ah, the web-endless entertainment. Until someone kicks the plug out.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Wednesday, October
22, 2008: I wonder if Mother Nature has a sense of humor when it comes to global warming. Hmmm...payback? We should probably watch our backs for that "Kick Me" sign. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 21, 2008: Ah, another brilliant slogan reason to pay ad people: Hilton: "Travel should take you somewhere." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, October 20, 2008: Ah, brilliant slogan reason to pay ad people: American Airlines: "We know why you fly." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
October 17-19, 2008: Sweater weather is not good gym incentive.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 16, 2008: Halloween is soon approaching. Luckily, I have a great wardrobe palette-nearly something to fit into any occasion. Or as I might call it, "costumes for life." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, October 15, 2008: Recently United Airlines decided "furloughing" pilots was a good move. Perhaps the logic went: we don't really need trained people to fly a plane...if we're not flying.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 14, 2008: Most folks logically know they should budget 3 times more than the amount of completion time expected. Damn if that happy memory loss from other projects is not a good reminder! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, October 13, 2008: Ah, Monday. The optimistic day of the week. The day you think your "To-Do" list is doable. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
October 10-12, 2008: There's a line of restaurants called "BJ's" and they are in expansion mode. Perhaps they should strategically locate them. Like next to Hooters.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 9, 2008: "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" was the number one box office draw for the key week of the US financial crisis. Sounds like the talking dogs on screen, beat out the talking dogs in government. Even though both offer mindless entertainment.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, October 8, 2008: I think I'm suffering from mental budget oversight. I don't think there's a bailout package for that.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 7, 2008: I just received a piece of mis-delivered mail. George W. Bush graced the magazine cover. I don't think I'm on Mr. Bush's mailing list. I am probably on his other list, though. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, October 6, 2008: I forget, is the definition of stupid: trying the same thing and expecting different results, or trying many things and getting the same result?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
October 3-5, 2008: So if we make our own bed, and have to lie in it, why can't we just get new sheets?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 2, 2008: The much-anticipated U.S. Vice Presidential debate is today. You can look at it as informational, political, entertaining, or as we in the humor biz call it, "darn good material!"-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, October 1, 2008: Of course the American economy bites right now. But on the bright side...political entertainment is at it's best!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 30, 2008: There's a new slick high style magazine out called, "Garden and Gun." Wow, and I thought my grandfather hated garden bunnies. Though I don't believe he took aim while in Dolce and Gabbana. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 29, 2008: It's fun when a telemarketer gets attitude and hangs up on you. These days, you can just call them right back.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
September 26-28, 2008: "Abilify." Really. That's the name of a new drug. Well, it's so much darn cuter than, "Manic or Mixed Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and Antipsychotic Treatment of Schizophrenia."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 25, 2008: I have a very creative wardrobe palette-nearly something to fit into any occasion. Or as I might call it, "costumes for life."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 24, 2008: Two things that are still prevalent in a downed economy: drinking and humor. Guess which one is more cost effective?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 23, 2008: Organization is a funny thing. By the time you set it up, you have no more time to use it.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 22, 2008: Laughter-priceless. And still yet, cheaper than gas.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
September 19-21, 2008: Holy beach sand Batman! I missed turning over several Hunks of Hawaii calendar pages. Sorry Mr. June, July and August. I guess my summer was busy with other things. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 18, 2008: Some people love amber jewelry. Others don't get the big deal: Bugs in tree sap. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist
Monday,
September 15, 2008: |
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up through one week post election...
There is a movie out there (seriously-not a porn) called, "Ninja Cheerleaders Fight to Cheer Another Day." Well if that isn't a great reason to skip any other important life task, Gee, what the heck is?!!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist God bless all of the folks lost on 9/11 and may their families, friends, colleagues, and all the emergency workers be continually blessed in their healing. We remember and reflect. Thursday, September 11, 2008: Hmmm...drinking alcohol and breast-feeding an infant while on a anti-schizophrenia, bipolar manic depressive disorder medication, is not recommended. Did anyone care to mention that having an infant isn't recommended?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 10, 2008: My gutter company just left off the gutter cover for a section right underneath a huge tree that's starting to shed it's fall leaves. Ah, this is why we hire the professionals.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 9, 2008: My mortgage company is Chase. Their motto is, "Chase what matters." Ah, ha, ha--very funny, folks. Because I've been trying to chase down documentation, truth, and any answers as to where the heck my money has gone with them, for years!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 8, 2008: I heard a new pharmaceutical/drug ad talk about the side effects with this lovely euphemism: "some fatal events have occurred." Now we've all got to kick it some time, but do we really have to pay a drug company to do it?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
September 5-7, 2008: How to get through all these political ads and media commentary on politics? Turn it into a drinking game! Here's the rules: Every time you hear a cliché mentioned, drink!* *Not responsible or intended for immature audiences. (drink!) *I approved this ad. (drink) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 4, 2008: Are you suffering from "attention spam?" According to urbandictionary.com, it's "A condition resulting in a failure to process basic facts or comprehend common knowledge, due largely to having a mind full of useless information." Uh, that does not include humor from this site.Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 3, 2008: Ah, breath in. Breath out. The key to life? Repeating.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 2, 2008: Things that make you go, "What the...???": There's a big budget asthma medication out there with a warning that says, "may increase asthma related deaths." Sounds like a great solution, say if breathing or living weren't an issue.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Holiday Weekend
Edition,
August 29-September 1, 2008: We had so many great speeches in Denver for the Democratic National Convention. Probably enough sound bites to get us through political ads-- 'til November!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, August 28, 2008: Ah, a few scents from a protest: hot summer day, lots of people marching, and a hint of something else a wafting. All organic, I'm sure.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wed. p.m Report from the Democratic National Convention in Denver: I just participated in the DNC today. Got tickets to the Rage Against the Machine concert and did my first protest march-from the show at the Coliseum. It was a peaceful and eventually successful demonstration lead by US soldiers back from Iraq to get us out of the war. We walked it all the way to downtown Denver-3 miles on foot-about 4,000 of us-all with help from the police-a LOT of them. Even ran into one who's a friend of mine. It is non-stop stuff for the DNC this week. This was my one day to partake. Had tix to the Ralph Nader event. Guess Sean Penn and others were there. Oh well, instead quenching a deserved thirst with a beer at the Denver Press Club and watching Bill Clinton's speech and resting my feet before the long walk back to my car. Wednesday, August 27, 2008: "Homeland Security" sounds so cute and euphemistic. I guess, "Your tax dollars to give up your freedoms, privacy, patriotism to protect you from TERROR, and you're going on the 'watch list' anyway," was a little too long for the letterhead.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, August 26, 2008: If women had the right to vote earlier, most of us would have voted for women leading in the world a lot sooner than this.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist ***Congratulations USA-Celebrating 88 years of women's right to vote***
Welcome |
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Weekend Edition,
August 22-24, 2008: Interesting concept: when companies want money from you, they pursue relentlessly. But if they owe you money, develop account amnesia.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist
14th
Annual
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August 15-17, 2008: I guess I'm missing the point of bigamy and polygamy. Just because you have sperm, doesn't mean you have to use them all.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, August 14, 2008: United Airlines just announced they were cutting 272 baggage handlers. Gee, when you don't let people take things like their underwear on a plane, for the price of their ticket, they stop bringing stuff. And flying, too.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, August 13, 2008: So a crocodile walks into a bar… Ah, only in Darwin, Australia, could you set up a joke like that! Who knows what he said to the bartender. (Actually the little 2-footer was brought into the watering hole from the doorway by bar patrons. And happy PETA ending: wildlife officials took the little guy to a nearby croc farm, from where they think he toddled off from.) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, August 12, 2008: Only a woman’s phone would have the following real prompt: “Please leave me a brief, but detailed message.” Snappy, multitasking, split personality needs, at their best. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, August 11, 2008: There's a new movie coming out called, "Beverly Hills Chihuahua." Ah, finally--something Paris Hilton can adequately act in! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist 
14th
Annual |
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Weekend Edition,
August 8-10, 2008: |
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Weekend Edition, August 1-3, 2008:
Ah, stupid people. Thank goodness I have a humorous outlook and don't believe in guns or violence. And how am I still Italian??-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 31, 2008: The really fun part of having kids later in life? Just as they're starting to remember, you're starting to forget!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist New TOUCHÉ! Cartoon In PLAYGIRL Magazine* Wednesday, July 30, 2008: *You don't have to page through a lot of penises to get to my new cartoon (page 75). But it sure is fun!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, July 29, 2008: Don't you love when your overnight success...takes decades?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, July 28, 2008: It takes a village. Whether you want them to or not.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Tuesday,
July 22, 2008: Whole Foods did a commendable ecological thing: they eliminated plastic bags because they take up resources and end up blowing around outside. Cosmic joke or oxymoron? I just found a Whole Foods plastic bag (post bag ban) wind-wrapped around one of my landscaping lights. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, July 21, 2008: Things that make you go, "What the...?!": The Del Monte corporation has regular and organic bananas at the local market. The organic ones they put in a plastic bag. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
July 18-20, 2008: Ah, my favorite drug side effect: Death.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 17, 2008: Remember when the term "train wreck" used to describe a vehicle, rather than someone's personality?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, July 16, 2008: How brilliant of a line is this for a drug warning, "Some people with heart failure should not..." Uh, what, like anything?? Helloooooo, it's heart failure. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, July 15, 2008: Things that make you go "What The..." When you hire a job out, isn't it supposed to make your life easier?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, July 14, 2008: The nice thing about laughter? It inappropriately fits in at sad times and lightens your spirits.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Heaven has 2 new angels...
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Weekend Edition,
July 11-13, 2008: |
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Holiday Fourth of
July Weekend Edition,
July 4-6, 2008: Water and electricity: pyrotechnics for jackasses. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, July 3, 2008: A man came into our gift store and said, "Oh, you sell antiques!" He was pointing to the computer I was working on. He'll be so happy to celebrate future holidays with his family, as I did not reach over the counter to smack him upside the head. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, July 2, 2008: I love to tell someone their pants are ringing. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, July 1, 2008: I saw a great bumper sticker that said, "Support your local hospitals, play hockey." I'm thinking they get charity business from skateboarding, skydiving and many others, too. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 30, 2008: Do you have a "cash pedal?" According to UrbanDictionary.com it's the nickname for your accelerator pedal in your car, in times of high gas prices. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
June 27-29, 2008:
There's a new song out with the lyrics, "Shush girl. Shut your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips." Ah, if only communication was only that easy. (Song is "Don't Trust Me" by 3oh!3 -check it out on 93.3 KTCL) Rock your weekend!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, June 26, 2008: Hollywood is a fickle mistress. One who will never call you her boyfriend. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, June 25, 2008: My humor is only as good as my caffeine. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 24, 2008: Ya know, most of us wouldn't be so upset with a little identity theft, if we could switch identities for someone with stellar credit. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 23, 2008: Have a nasty hangover from partying a little too much? Well here's a lively learned word from www.dictionary.com's fun word of the day feature: "crapulous." As in, you are probably feeling really crapulous having both drank too much and acted like an idiot. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
June 20-22, 2008:
When I hear of "padded butt boxer briefs" for men, I also I hear, "about damn time" running through my head. (If you need the visual, check out the past dailies, for man pics.--Good thing this kind of humorous entertainment is free!) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, June 19, 2008: Don't you wish sometimes you could still use the childhood logic and taunts into adulthood? Like telling your boss, "I am rubber and you are glue. What bounces off me, sticks to you!"-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, June 18, 2008: There's an audio/musical cd called, "Rock Against Bush, Volume 2." Hmmm...where was I to miss Volume #1?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 17, 2008: Did you know that they make doggie wheelchairs? It's fascinating to see seemingly funny solutions to serious things, after you find you need them. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 16, 2008: I'm not sure. Does it take incredible skill or stupidity to text...while riding a bicycle?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
June 13-15, 2008:
The HBO store has an ad to sell the "Sopranos" dvd set, promoting it with, "Celebrate Dad" for Father's Day. Uh, yeah...with like the ultimate whack job. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy Father's Day to all dads, grandpas and all the great father figures helping raise good kids! Thursday, June 12, 2008: My sarcasm is inversely proportionate to sunlight. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, June 11, 2008: When you're younger, you stay up 'til the wee hours. When you get older, they turn into wee-wee hours. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 10, 2008: I'm sensing a little irony coming on here. How come my insurance premium went up...for uninsured motorists? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 9, 2008: Did you have a good weekend? Did your bail bondsman appreciate the tip? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Shimmy for the Cure* Weekend Edition, June 5, 2008: Who ever thought of mixing energy drinks with alcohol? Because super-charged drunks are so much better than regular ones.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, June 5, 2008: When your life flashes before your eyes, is it a comedy? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, June 4, 2008: My dad told me about his new "terrain avoidance" gauge. Now doesn't that seem like a logical/important instrument to have in the cockpit of a plane? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, June 3, 2008: All seasons are great, aren't they? Especially summer, when you get to see how much more skin you stored up from this past winter. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, June 2, 2008: Yes, the new "Sex And The City" movie is fabulous! I recommend seeing it with estrogen. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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 *Weekend
Edition,
May 30-June 1, 2008:
HBO sells t-shirts that say, "I'm a Carrie (Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda)." How come they're not cashing in on the, "I'm a recovering cosmo drinker" angle? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist *martini photo from www.martinipic.com custom sterling silver martini pics for the prettiest cosmo ever!  Wednesday, May 28, 2008: "Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, dumb rhyme, blah. Blah, blah, dumb rhyme, blah." Wow. Rock lyric writing 101. Oh wait. That's Ted Nugent's "Wango Tango" song. He can shoot my a** from 90,000 yards with a bow and arrow. Never mind. Happy Hump Day -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 27, 2008: Because of out-of-left-field gas prices, some folks are using real horse-power. The "emissions" may be big and stinky, but at least it's biodegradable (and fertilizing). -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
May 23-25, 2008:
If you were cast as "Dumbass Friend #2," would you skip it on your resume, because you couldn't make it as "Dumbass Friend #1?" (end credits of "Blind Dating") -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, May 22, 2008: Did you know, they make "thigh girdles" for men? Holy Cow. I do NOT want to see those "before" pictures. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, May 21, 2008: It's nice to know he's a half a bubble past plum. In a parallel universe, with no tools. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 20, 2008: A "Push Up Biker Boxer Brief" for men?? Well, perhaps these are really necessary, if you're going to ride a scooter. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, May 19, 2008: Never let them see you sweat. Unless they're your deodorant sponsors. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
May 16-18, 2008: I don't understand the renewed fashion craze of super high heel shoes. Why would you wear those to walk around in downtown? Unless you're there to make a profit. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, May 15, 2008: Who doesn't enjoy a little identity theft? Especially with someone else with better credit. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, May 14, 2008: Here's a great drug company profit & marketing model: add "syndrome," or "mania" onto pretty much any activity. Then, let the side effects for that cause something else you've heard of, so you can get more drugs prescribed for the new thing(s). -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 13, 2008: Is it just me, or does it seem like the drug companies are just making health issues up? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, May 12, 2008: What's the upside spin on exponentially skyrocketing gas costs? The postal increase seems kinda dinky in comparison . -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
May 9-11, 2008:
Kids really do hear what mom's say. It may just take a few years or decades to see results. Happy Mother's Day--in whatever format that may take for you! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, May 8, 2008: Gray's Anatomy had a bit of overworked, stress-releasing intern advice, "Dance it out!" Great idea, as long as you're not in a cubicle. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, May 7, 2008: If we could all eat more ice cream, the world would be a happier place. Maybe that and nap time. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, May 6, 2008: When life hands you lemons, add vodka. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, May 5, 2008: Ah, spring is in the air. For some, it's love. For others, it's allergies. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, May
2-4, 2008:
Wahooooo! First Friday (the concentrated area, gallery-hopping art walk) makes it to Belmar in Lakewood. See art. And exhausted artists who just got their stuff in moments before the deadline.*** -Ché Rippinger, Humorist ***I've been hard at work with a handful of folks to put together probably our biggest Colorado Alliance of Illustrators Shows ever! We have over 40 artists with over 80 pieces displayed in 2 galleries! (Whew!) You can join us for the gala kickoff on First Friday at Belmar in Lakewood, CO (with food & drinks). The show will be on display for the month of May. I have 3 pieces on display: two cartoons and a magazine cover. Here's a sampling of the amazing variety of CAI artist's works. And here's the show info link Thursday, May 1, 2008: As it turns out, when you're in coughing mode, overdone or stinky-perfumed people, don't help much. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Bonus Joke Round: Mom asking 20 questions by phone. Uh, not helpful with laryngitis!!! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Wednesday, April 30, 2008: Ever get so busy, that you were too busy to call for help? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Tuesday, April 29, 2008: It's hilarious to watch other people whisper...because I lost my voice! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Monday, April 28, 2008: Crud. "Sick" is only a get out of jail free card with your social and work situations. Not your bill collectors. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl |
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Weekend Edition,
April 25-26 2008:
Man being sick sucks! But I finally figured out a way to communicate (without the luxury of voice) with mom, since she keeps calling. One phone key tone for "yes" and two for "no." At the end of the conversation, it was so cute, she said: "Bye, beep." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Thursday, April 24 2008: Ah, laryngitis. Fun. Especially when mom keeps calling by phone to ask how sick I am, and then gets mad, because she can't understand me. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Wednesday, April 23 2008: Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Wouldn't it be nice if we could do this with cellulite. Oh yeah. We sort of can. Happy Day after Earth Day. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Tuesday, April 22 2008: 'Tis the day to show how green you are. So go get jealous. And buy some spiral light bulbs. Happy Earth Day. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Monday, April 21, 2008: Planning, saving and scheduling for a big weekend conference/event for several months...$$$. Being down for the count afterwards because I tried to cram too much in...priceless. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl |
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Weekend Edition,
April 18-20, 2008: Hmmm...going to a conference this weekend. Need: knee pads, water and a notebook. Mind out of the gutter--it's for belly dance. Sword not included. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Thursday, April 17, 2008: I read that 42 cents out of every U.S. tax dollar goes to the military. So, can I hock a Hummer on Craigslist and pay my taxes, since technically, I own it?? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Wednesday, April 16, 2008: I wonder if "Red Bull" and Aspirin are legitimate medical expense when doing your taxes? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Tuesday, April 15, 2008: Boy, everyone's gunning for "green." A new ad says, "Stop global warming." And continues, "Or all the Reese's will melt." And I thought all the unpronounceable chemicals in the peanut butter cups would keep it fresh forever. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Monday, April 14, 2008: Visited MySpace.com lately? You can definitely tell those who might be in between gainful employment gigs. Or 12. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl |
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Weekend Edition,
April 11-13, 2008: Having a tough time telling your parents you're with child? Have them see the movie Juno or just explain, "my eggo is prego." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Thursday, April 10, 2008: It is truly a television programming travesty, when "Afro Samuari" is competing for fine cable viewership against "Death to Smoochy." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Wednesday, April 9, 2008: Newsflash: They're classifying "excessive texting" as a mental illness. Raise your hand if you think the cellular companies will profit, and the rest of us will laugh our a***s off. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Tuesday, April 8, 2008: How come, no matter which weather-related season change we go through, it's always still a political season? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Monday, April 7, 2008: I've heard that a true optimist thinks the glass is completely full: half with water and half with air. Wow, that, is great spin! I wonder if I could use that theory with my bank account. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl |
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Weekend Edition,
April 4-6, 2008: I just heard a radio ad where a plumber got the infamous 867-5309 number and music, made popular by the Tommy Two Tone song. That gives a whole new meaning to the lyric line, "for a good time, call..." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl Birthday Edition!* Thursday, April 3, 2008: Funny-the older I get, the younger "older" gets! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist & Birthday Girl
*Birthday Alert!*
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Weekend Edition,
March 28-30, 2008:
I'm thinking the model for this man-girdle, is not really in need of hiding his washboard abs. But image of the applicable demographic? Oooh, didn't mean to disturb your weekend visual. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 27, 2008: Do you like reality shows? Is life really that pathetic? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 26, 2008: Really tired and hate cats? Take a dog nap. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 25, 2008: Daylight savings is so nice. More light. More happy. More global warming. More frying. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 25, 2008: Daylight savings is so nice. More light. More happy. More global warming. More frying. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 24, 2008: How American's can reduce greenhouse gasses? Drop the obese status. Less poundage in driving=less gas + more breathing time. Now back away from the keys to the Hummer and walk to get the remote. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Happy Hoppin' Weekend
Edition,
March 21-23, 2008:
Looking for Easter eggs this weekend? Keep it clean. Keep it legal. There's children present. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 20, 2008: Spring cleaning time. I think that means cleaning out your bank account for tax season. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 19, 2008: Last day of Winter! Layer today, strip tomorrow. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 18, 2008: My congressman mailed me a slick report mentioning environmental progress (using our tax payer dollars). I'm thinking e-mail (or even a small post card) would have relayed that message more convincingly.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 17, 2008: It's that time of the year again...to eat green, drink green and Erin-go-braless.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy St. Patrick's Day! |
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Weekend Edition,
March 14-16, 2008:
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Weekend Edition,
March 7-9, 2008: T.G.I.F. sounds a whole lot better than the original version: TGIFFBMLSSMTAIHTLFTITWWICGMEDAIMIA* (*Thank God it's Freakin' Friday because my life sucks so much that all I have to look forward to is the weekend when I can get my errands done and indulge my impending alcoholism.) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, March 6, 2008: The following are reasons why I don't believe in guns: t.v. game shows, mini vans (or station wagons with wood paneling), kayaking. Because I probably would shoot myself, if near, watching, or participating in any of those. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, March 5, 2008: "Spamalot." Who knew that a canned processed lunch meat could become such an entertaining theatrical musical?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, March 4, 2008: Aren't pets wonderful? Especially since they usually don't bring up your worst qualities at inappropriate or embarrassing moments (like family and friends gleefully would.) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, March 3, 2008: Hmmmm...I have to pay to text the "stop" message to the company that keeps sending me text messages on my cell phone, that I'm getting charged for?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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| Holy Cow! This site has received
well over 30,000 hits in February. Thank you for coming out to play and laugh. |
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Leap Year Weekend
Edition,
February 29-March 2, 2008: Is it better to look before you leap? Or do you rethink that, after the cops show up? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, February 28, 2008: Sometimes Hollywood movies are better on the Spanish channel. Especially if you don't know Spanish. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Holy Cow! This site has received over 30,000 hits in February. Thank you for coming out to play and laugh. Wednesday, February 27, 2008: Today is "No-Brainer Day." Uh, think of something ironic here. Wait, don't. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, February 26, 2008: Mini Coopers are so darn cute. Like a pricey clown car. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, February 25, 2008: Today is the first Monday of the rest of your week. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend,
February 22-24, 2008:
Funny how the people who should read this, probably wouldn't. Even if
they are the inspiration for the humorous jab. Does that make the last
laugh on them...or me? -Ché Rippinger,
Humorist Thursday, February 21, 2008: Happy "Love Your Pet" Day. Yo, Dude-affection, not biblical. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Thursday,
February 14, 2008: Chocolate, Roses, Diamonds. For everything other than your self-esteem, there's Master Card. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist  My favorite holiday of the year!!  Happy Valentine's! Need extra time? Celebrate it this weekend! Wednesday, February 13, 2008: Which is your candlelight theme song, "Burnin' For You", or "Burinin' Down the House?" -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, February 12, 2008: A real Valentine's gift: A pair of boxer shorts that say "Burnin' For You." I think they have a cream for that. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, February 11, 2008: Spin is a great thing. Not so fun when "cuddly" means built like Jabba the Hutt.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist (From the Grammy Awards Sunday night: OMH factor of 10...now I love Aretha Franklin...but I'm sorry, a spaghetti-strap canary yellow dress??? When the gelatinous shoulders hide the straps? what the Jabba?!) |
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Weekend Edition,
February 8-10, 2008:
Lakewood Eye Clinic advertises "BOTOX on the go." I that really the smartest use of face time?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, February 7, 2008: Celebrating your inner rodent today?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Happy Chinese New Year! Year of the Rat Wednesday, February 6, 2008: Sleeping off the Super Tuesday Caucus, or Mardi Gras? I suppose it depends on who you woke up with.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Super Tuesday, February 5, 2008: Caucus? Mardi Gras? As long as no one shouts out to Hillary, "show us your ****[frontal anatomy]," for beads, then we should all be o.k.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
February 1-3, 2008: Ah, Superbowl weekend. I forgot. What ads are playing again?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 31, 2008: It's still my favorite non-Martha idea: If the Christmas stuff is still up, just pull the green stuff, throw a few hearts in, and call it early for Valentine's Day. (Like January has a decoratable holiday, anyway!)-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, January 30, 2008: Why does "unconditional" love...usually have a caveat?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist
********* |
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Weekend Edition,
January 25-27, 2008: If a joke is told in the forest, does anyone heckle?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, January 24, 2008: Win a date with a suspected murderer? (Drew Peterson's new contest) Wow, possible dismemberment on a first date! Talk about your funny "how we met" stories. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Wednesday,
January 16, 2008:
I'm thinking the model for this man-girdle, is not really in need of hiding his washboard abs. But image of the applicable demographic, might leave me mentally paralyzed. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, January 15, 2008:  Real ad copy for a new men's product..."Skip the lunges and squats! Add some junk to your trunk with padded butt boxer briefs." Sometimes jokes aren't even needed, when the truth is this good! I love my job. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, January 14, 2008: "Padded Butt Boxer Briefs" for men... would be a lot funnier if I didn't know so many men who could use a pair.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition,
January 11-13, 2008: Weekend
Edition, January 4-6, 2008:
Tuesday, January 1, 2008: |
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 Holly Days Weekend Edition, December 28-30, 2007: Oh no, a Hollywood writer's strike. Time to catch up on reality t.v. I mean, your life.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist  Holly Days Weekend Edition, December 21-23, 2007: Raise your glass of spiked eggnog. Here's to putting the "ho" back in the holidays.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, December 13, 2007: Ever wonder if bi-polar disorder is affecting way more people these days? Kind of like peanut allergies. Just more fun stuff to medicate and separate.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 12, 2007: What's on your wish list this season? World peace? Or a new car stereo, so you don't instigate insurgency in traffic?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 11, 2007: Ever go near one of those cars with a voice alarm that says, "Step away from the vehicle?" Don't you just want to step in and mess with it, because you were told not to, and that's a pompous thing for a car to say anyway?!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, December 10, 2007: Don't pity the striking Hollywood writers too much. Some of us out there have been writing for a lot less, for years!-Ché Rippinger, Humorist "BEEN THERE. TINSELED THAT."  |
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Weekend
Edition,
December 7-9, 2007: 'Tis the season to text message your friends: "MRY XMAS 2 U."-Ché Rippinger, Humorist You just never know who is going to touch your life. It may be a best friend, a work colleague, or a person known only briefly. But to have known that person, may make you a better one. In loving memory of a wonderful cartoonist and human being: Dan Gibson.  Dan Gibson gets his own characiture on the Denver Press Club walls, after creating a third of the infamous wall for others (and having served as president and longtime member.) Thursday, December 6, 2007: How's this for a stocking stuffing idea?? ...A foot.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, December 5, 2007: Victoria's Secret has a sale on sleepwear. Girl on girl pillow fight not included.-Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, December 4, 2007: When did those little gift card holders, become such hot selling items?-Ché Rippinger, Humorist
Monday,
December 3, 2007: |
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Weekend
Edition,
November 30-December 2, 2007:
Thursday,
November 29, 2007:
Wednesday,
November 28, 2007:
Tuesday,
November 27, 2007:
Monday,
November 26, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition,
November 23-25, 2007: |
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Weekend
Edition,
November 16-18, 2007:
Thursday,
November 15, 2007:
Wednesday,
November 14, 2007:
Tuesday,
November 13, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition,
November 9-11, 2007: Thursday,
November 8, 2007: |
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Weekend
Edition,
November 2-4, 2007:
Thursday,
November 1, 2007: Rockies
Rally Wednesday, ROCKTOBER 31, 2007: Tuesday,
ROCKTOBER 30, 2007: |
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Monday, ROCKTOBER 22, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition,
ROCKTOBER 19-21, 2007:
Wednesday,
ROCKTOBER 17, 2007:
Purple Tuesday,
ROCKTOBER 16, 2007:
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Weekend Edition,
October 12-14, 2007:
Wednesday,
October 10, 2007:
Tuesday, October
9, 2007:
Monday, October
8, 2007: |
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Happy Birthday Dad!
Thursday, October 4, 2007:
Wednesday, October 3,
2007:
Tuesday, October 2, 2007:
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Weekend Edition,
September 28-30, 2007:
Thursday,
September 27, 2007:
Wednesday,
September 26, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition,
September 21-23, 2007:
Thursday,
September 20, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition,
September 14-16, 2007:
Thursday,
September 13, 2007:
Wednesday,
September 12, 2007:
Tuesday, September 11,
2007:
Monday, September 10,
2007: |
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Weekend Edition,
September 7-9, 2007:
Thursday, September
6, 2007:
Wednesday, September
5, 2007:
Tuesday, September 4,
2007: |
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Holiday Weekend
Edition, August 31-September 3, 2007: Thursday,
August 30, 2007:
Wednesday, August 29, 2007:
Tuesday, August 28,
2007:
Monday, August 27, 2007: |
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BBS Weekend Edition,
August 24-26, 2007:
Thursday, August 23,
2007:
Wednesday, August 22, 2007:
Tuesday, August 21, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, August 17-19, 2007:
Thursday, August 16, 2007:
Wednesday, August 15, 2007:
Tuesday, August 14, 2007:
Monday, August 13, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, August 10-12, 2007:
Thursday, August 9,
2007:
Wednesday, August 8,
2007:
Tuesday, August 7,
2007:
Monday, August 6,
2007: |
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Weekend Edition, August
3-5,
2007:
Thursday, August 2,
2007:
Wednesday, August 1,
2007:
Tuesday, July 31
2007:
Monday, July 30
2007: |
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Weekend Edition, July 27-29,
2007:
Thursday, July 26,
2007:
Wednesday, July 25,
2007:
Tuesday, July 24,
2007:
Monday, July 23,
2007: |
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Weekend Edition,
Thursday, July 19
2007:
Wednesday, July 18,
2007:
Tuesday, July 17,
2007:
Monday, July 16,
2007: |
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Weekend Edition, July 13-15,
2007:
Thursday, July 12,
2007:
Wednesday, July 11,
2007:
Tuesday, July 10,
2007:
Monday, July 2, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, July 6-8,
2007:
Thursday, July 5,
2007:
Wednesday, July 4,
2007:
Tuesday, July 3,
2007:
Monday, July 2, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, June
29-July 1, 2007:
Thursday, June 28,
2007:
Wednesday, June 27,
2007:
Tuesday, June 26,
2007:
Monday, June 25, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, June
22-24, 2007:
Thursday, June 21, 2007:
Wednesday, June 20, 2007:
Tuesday, June 19, 2007:
Monday, June 18, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, June 15-17, 2007:
Thursday, June 14, 2007:
Wednesday, June 13, 2007:
Tuesday, June 12, 2007:
Happy Birthday Mom!
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Weekend Edition, June
8-10, 2007:
Thursday, June 7 2007:
Wednesday, June 6, 2007:
Tuesday, June 5, 2007:
Monday, June 4, 2007: |
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Thursday, May 31,
2007: |
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Thursday, May 24, 2007:
Monday, May 21, 2007: |
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Thursday, May 10, 2007:
Wednesday, May 9, 2007:
Tuesday, May 8, 2007:
Monday, May 7, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, May
4-6, 2007:
Thursday, May 3,
2007:
Wednesday, May 2,
2007:
Tuesday, May 1, 2007:
Monday, April 30, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, April
27-28, 2007:
Thursday, April 26, 2007:
Wednesday April 25, 2007:
Tuesday, April 24, 2007:
Monday, April 23, 2007: |
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007:
Tuesday, April 17, 2007:
Monday, April 16, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, April 13-15, 2007:
Thursday, April 12, 2007:
Wednesday, April 11, 2007:
Tuesday, April 10, 2007:
Monday: April 9, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition: April
6-8, 2007:
Thursday: April 5, 2007:
Wednesday: April 4, 2007:
Tuesday: April 3, 2007:
Special Birthday Today-Cartoonist Ché
Monday: April 2, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition: March
30-April 1, 2007:
Thursday, March 29, 2007:
Wednesday, March 28, 2007:
Tuesday, March 27, 2007:
Monday, March 26, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, March
22-25, 2007:
Thursday, March 22, 2007:
Wednesday, March 21, 2007:
Tuesday, March 20, 2007:
Monday, March 19, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, March 16-18, 2007:
Thursday, March 15, 2007:
Wednesday, March 14, 2007:
Tuesday, March 13, 2007:
Monday, March 12, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, March
9-11, 2007:
Thursday, March 8, 2007:
Wednesday, March 7, 2007:
Tuesday, March 6, 2007:
Monday, March 5, 2007: |
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Weekend (HBO Aspen Comedy
Festival) Edition, March 2-4, 2007:
Thursday, March 1, 2007:
Wednesday, February 28,
2007:
Tuesday, February 27,
2007:
Monday, February 26, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, February 23-25, 2007:
Thursday, February 22, 2007:
Wednesday, February 21, 2007:
Tuesday, February 20, 2007:
Monday, February 19, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, February 16-18, 2007:
Thursday, February 15, 2007:
Wednesday, February
14, 2007:
Tuesday, February 13,
2007:
Monday, February 12,
2007: |
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Weekend Edition, February
9-11, 2007: Thursday, February
8, 2007: Wednesday, February
7, 2007:
Tuesday, February 6, 2007:
Monday, February 5, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition,
February 2-4, 2007:
Thursday, February 1, 2007:
Wednesday, January 31, 2007:
Tuesday, January 30, 2007:
Monday, January 29, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, January 26-28, 2007:
Thursday, January 25, 2007:
Wednesday, January 24, 2007:
Tuesday, January 23, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, January
19-21, 2007:
Thursday, January 18, 2007:
Wednesday, January 17, 2007: You can stretch that to April 1st for April Fools Day, but then Martha Stewart will beat you if you don’t change over to spring pastels. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist
Tuesday, January 16, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, January
12-14, 2007:
Thursday, January 11, 2007:
Wednesday, January 10, 2007:
Tuesday, January 9, 2007:
Monday, January 8, 2007: |
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Weekend Edition, January
5-7, 2007:
Weekend Edition, December 29-31, 2006:
Tuesday, December 26, 2006: |
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Weekend/Christmas/Blizzard
Edition, December 22-25, 2006: |
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Weekend Edition, December 15-17, 2006: |
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Weekend Edition, December 8-10, 2006: |
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Weekend Edition,
December 1-3, 2006: |
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006:
Tuesday, November 28, 2006: |
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T-Day Holiday Weekend, November
22-26, 2006: The real secret to losing weight: buy in bulk. Then, don’t eat it all. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 21, 2006: If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, you were owed more money than you thought. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, November 17-19, 2006: You know that reptilian brain theory that says there are certain things like breathing and blood flow that take place automatically from the limbic area? Perhaps that’s how Paris Hilton is getting by in daily life. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, November 16, 2006: Which font should I use for the ransom note? First impressions are everything. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 15, 2006: A relaxing bath after an exhausting day isn’t that good of an idea. Unless you like to fall asleep and drown. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 14, 2006: The T.V. brain is a terrible thing to waste. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist
Monday, November 13, 2006: |
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Weekend Edition, November
10-12, 2006: Saturday 11/11 is Veteran’s Day(USA)/Remembrance Day (Canada) A salute to all of the men and women over the years who have defended and fought for our right of free speech. Because of you, I am able to bring humor to the world. I have this freedom and also the right to even be a little off target on occasion, in an attempt to bring a little levity to our daily lives. Thank you. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, November 9, 2006: Money isn’t the root of all evil. But the love of instant gratification with an extended payment plan, doesn’t exactly help. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 8, 2006: If at first you don’t succeed: Try, Try…and Tweak. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, November 7, 2006: Happy Dias de Los Muertos (Day of the dead-11/2). Oh wait, it’s November 7th, Election Day. Same difference, right?! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, November 6, 2006: Watch out. I’m politically active. I vote. And I have a car worthy of stupid bumper stickers! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, November 3-5, 2006: A little breath mint never hurt anyone. Well, except for that person who goes into anaphylactic shock from peanuts because it’s the next production line over from the harmless breathmints. Curiously strong. Strangely dead. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, November 2, 2006: Men don’t need no stinking driving directions. Whichever way the car is pointed is the direction they’re driving. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, November 1, 2006: Remember when we romantically waxed poetic about “voyeurism?” Now we call it stalking. Not quite the same sexy ring. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 31, 2006: Don’t you love Halloween—a day you can break out of your shell and be someone else—even if it is an M&M or a turtle. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, October 30, 2006: Ah, so little miss sunshine gets it out of a bottle, too. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, October 27-29, 2006: Daylight Savings time. I forget, is it “fall back” into your old habits or get enlightened to new ones? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 26, 2006: Ah, it’s a pity it’s not legal to skeet shoot with those cell phones that get left on at public events where respectful quiet is appreciated. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Thursday, October 19, 2006: Remember the good ‘ole days of customer service? When there was a paying customer, and “service” wasn’t an “additional option.” -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, October 18 2006: Time flies, when you’re wasting company break time. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 17 2006: I don’t mind the commute. Watching others perform multitasking distraction stunts while driving is so entertaining. Kind of like NASCAR for two year-olds. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, October 6-8 2006: Adventure living is great. Showing which scars went with which death-defying act is really entertaining cocktail conversation at parties. Plus it really pisses off the accountants. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, October 5 2006: If at first you don’t succeed: Try, Try…and Tweak again. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, October 4 2006: Smile and the whole world smiles with you. Wear a piece of clothing inside out and you geekily stand alone. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, October 3 2006: Ah, so much spam. So little time to forward to people I don’t like much. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, October 2, 2006: Ah, dorm life. There’s the rulebook…and every penny’s worth of school tuition of brain cells used to get around it. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, September
29-October 1, 2006: Admit it, it’s not really a “Buddha belly.” It’s a beer belly. And how lucky are you really getting with it? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 28, 2006: If “It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”…How does that translate to stalkers? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 27, 2006: “The Lake House” is out on dvd. If all the Kevin Costner movies are taken, you know, Keanu Reeves is the next best box office draw. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 26, 2006: No wonder my luck sucks this week. I didn’t send out those e-mail chains like I was guilted into. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 25, 2006: I was taken for a bride at the bridal festival, but not as an Italian at the Italian festival. Come se dice (how do you say) "irony." -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, September 22-24, 2006: Ah, kiss the ”official” summer sun goodbye. The upside? No more sitting on a hot car seat, and then needing a skin graft after the blackout from shock. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 21, 2006: How exactly does a morning radio station make the business decision to put on clinic’s ad for “Bladeless and flapless corrective eye surgery?” Mmmm…No I-Hop stops today. And I guess I’ll skip that flapjack and strawberry breakfast, after all. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 20, 2006: He who laughs last…didn’t brush his teeth. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 19, 2006: Watch out. I’m politically active. I vote. And I have a car worthy of stupid bumper stickers! -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 18, 2006: Gotta love this time of year. Just when you are considering stashing your bathing suit, you’re hearing “Jingle Bells” in the malls. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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Weekend Edition, September
15-17, 2006: When you look at a crayon box, you see colors. When I look at a crayon box, I see a colorful bikini wax. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, September 14, 2006 Ah, the kids are back off to school. Time to watch Oprah and Ellen without sideline commentary. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 13, 2006 When in doubt: ask your parents. Then, believe the opposite. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 12, 2006 Find a penny, pick it up. It’s how Homeland Security passes time when they’re bored. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, September 11, 2006 Reconnect. Remember. Reflect. -Ché Rippinger |
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| Friday, September 8-10, 2006...and your Grandparent's Day (Sept. 10th) weekend It’s a parent’s job to guide their kids in making good life choices. It’s up to the grandparents to do the opposite for their grandkids, plus give a little parental payback for all the crap they did growing up. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Bonus Weekend Touché! : From the growing up (dad) archive—“There’s two forms of communication: Telegram and Tell-A-Grandma.” Thursday, September 7, 2006 Halloween candy is on sale now, two months before the holiday. Isn’t it an odd, fine line between preparation...and preservatives? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Wednesday, September 6, 2006 If you want something done right, ask a woman to do it. If she messes up, she knows who to call to make it look otherwise. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, September 5, 2006 This one was from my departed Great Aunt Mary: “Time flies when you’re paying bills!” (The nice utterance before the cursing, and praying to make up for the bad words.) -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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| Friday, September 1-4, 2006...and your kickin' Labor Day
weekend! High speed internet: $40 a month. Gas: over $3 a gallon. Still sitting at home in your jammies: Priceless. For everything else: there’s scratching yourself. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Thursday, August 31, 2006 I love my phone company. Where else can I be so thouroughly amused with the irony of being on hold for 10 minutes, and then disconnected? -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Tuesday, August 29, 2006 Youth is wasted on the young. And Botox on the old. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist Monday, August 28, 2006 So many things to file. So little time to set an interoffice bonfire and get away with it. -Ché Rippinger, Humorist |
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| Friday,
August 25-27, 2006...and the weekend-enjoy! Popular movie choice to see Snakes on a Plane? Maybe not so fast. A prank was reported that 2 rattlesnakes were released into one viewing audience theatre. This is wrong in oh so many ways. Therapy anyone? (FYI: 8.23.06 zap2it.com helped set the record straight that the original National Ledger newspaper story may have been a bit of an urban myth, as it was hard to prove where the rattlers actually were found, and where they really came from. But still, creepy buzz makes for tabloid press sales and spreading internet interest. | ||||||
Wednesday,
November 5, 2008: 
Brothers
from a different mother...my bud Boca and mom's beautiful Brave
Real ad copy for a new male "Push Up Biker
Boxer Brief":
"Increase your confidence by improving your
appearance. Push up boxer briefs will help you get the look you want.
Padded pouch for more defined shape and upfront enhanced look."
...So if
padding the back end is "junk in the trunk," then this would be "more
horse under the hood?"-Ché Rippinger, Humorist
Monday,
Roctober 29, 2007: World Series 2007
You Made HISTORY! 